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Several years ago I had a student who had spent time in Japan.  During her placement with me she did some workshops including sushi making and calligraphy.  She taught us how to write our names in Japanese, as well as their Japanese meaning.  I did my husband’s name.  We had only just met and I was in the full throws of this new love and the associated spiritual awakening that had come with it.  So to say that I was happy when she told me that his name meant ‘God Has Given’, is an understatement.

I was so excited and pretty crazy when we first got together.  I used to go on and on about how amazing it was, how lucky, how can I say thank you, to him, to Him, to the Universe, the whole world…  John just used to say:  You say thank you just by being yourself.

In the film The Matrix the machines said that the first matrixes they made were perfect, lovely, but the people didn’t believe them.  They went mad, or kept trying to wake up.  People didn’t believe that such a perfect world was real, and so the machines had to put bad stuff in to make it like it is now.

Which maybe explains why we have things like this:* We have the technology to build soft crash barriers that absorb the shock of impact and save the lives and bodies of those people in the cars that crash into them…  but we don’t use them, we don’t implement the technology.

Is it because if everything was good (like it was, and is, in my world:  job, home, happiness etc), it would mean that people were happy, and not tired and sad.  So they would begin to look elsewhere…  begin to wake up…  begin to think, that’s nice, but is that it?

And ‘they’ can’t have us all selling up and liquidating and dropping out can they?  No energy harvesting would go on.  But it’s the only way:  ignore the car crashes and the tragedies, it’s all in your head anyway.  Create the life you want- not even by having to imagine it yourself…  but just by BEING YOURSELF.

I looked up the Japanese meaning of the name John, it said it doesn’t mean anything, it can’t, because it can’t translate.  I don’t care:  I don’t need to be told that God gave him to me, I know I couldn’t have imagined him myself.**

My mum said to me the other day, if John hadn’t met you he’d still be driving a bus (instead of doing a job he really enjoys).   Aside from the fact that John has had just as much of a postive effect on me in terms of career, it’s not those things that are ultimately important (except as signs and markers that the bigger stuff is going on).  And the bigger stuff, she doesn’t seem to notice.  I was like a baby compared with what I know now, suicidal, asleep, alone with just a bottomless need and capacity for Something More.  Now, every fibre of my being is taut, ready, alive:  Awake.  I know who I am, what this is, and most importantly, what I’m going to do about it.  But that’s not that easy to explain to your mum over a cup of tea is it?

*This is just one example out of millions; for every disease there is a plant to cure it.

**Or could I?!